Thursday, May 23, 2013

Did You Ever Know You're My She-ro: Part 1

I am a shopper. Shopping is like breathing for me. But I do understand value and I LOVE a good bargain! Thus, I get those flash sale emails. Everyone in my office knows not to bother me around 11:00 because that’s when most of them usually come in and I need to attack and open them and see what delightful goodies they have for me at such amazing prices.

Recently I saw that one of them said, “Super Hero Capes".

(tires screeching to a halt)

what What WHAT!

Super Hero Capes. 


Visions of my friends wearing capes running around my house giggling while trying not to spill their sangria/martinis/champagne happily ran though my head (yes, we would do this. I had a sleep over last year while still living at the lake house and we ended up playing hide and seek at midnight using night vision goggles. Six grown up women, running around a yard as big as a postage stamp, trying not to fall in the lake or spill our champagne, giggling like maniacs. I ended up with a sprained ankle that didn't heal for over a year but didn't spill a drop of champagne!).

Would they be capes for real super heroes, like Superman and Wonder Woman (yes she had a cape like thing, it was red)!

Behold my cape, disbelievers!
Don't ever doubt the Fairy Godmother's knowledge of Wonder Woman again!

Maybe they were made up super heroes, like, Captain Obvious, Nega-tor, Super Shopper (me! me!),  Wino Woman (hmmm, could also be me), or Fashionisto. I quickly started worrying about how I would divide them among my friends. 

Who wants to be Wino Woman? Cape and wine glass included!

At 11:00:01, I dove right into that email, scrolling down as fast as possible to get to that particular sale and – DISAPPOINTMENT – they were for children.

No super hero capes for adults? Why, that's un-American!

Maybe this is an unfilled niche? A long time ago, a boyfriend told me that if I were a superhero, my name would be Defender of the Defenseless, due to my penchant for always trying to stick up for the underdog. Nice but boring. Speaking of boring, have you noticed that Good is almost always boring, and Evil usually gets the cool toys and costumes? Maleficent, the Evil Queen from Snow White, Ursula from the Little Mermaid (ok, she just looked real cool) ... even the Evil Queen from the tv series Once Upon a Time has amazing clothes.

If crime doesn't pay, how come we evil ladies always look so good?

They also seem to have the best powers, too. We need to have some fairy tales where the good witches and heroines have some rocking wardrobes and some kick ass powers. Like a cross between Xena (I HEART Xena), Kick Ass and the Evil Queen from Once Upon a Time. And cool theme songs they could hum to themselves as they run to go beat Evil senseless.

If you were a superhero, what would your name be? What would your superhero outfit be (make sure you can move in it as you run to your supercool theme song)? What powers would you have? If you need help creating a name, there are several Super Hero Name Generator out there online. (Sure, no capes for adults but plenty of name generators. Where's the logic??) Here are a couple for you to try:

For you lazy future super hero wannabes (MEEEE!), this one does it for you (powers not included):

For those of you who think even THAT'S too much work, this one comes up with the name AND powers for you:

This one takes some thought but has some cool phrases you mix and match:

Have fun planning your super alter ego. I'm thinking I see a new theme party in MY future.

Until our next post,

Ciao bellas.


  1. Your blog is fabulous; keep up the great writing! (I'm also going to try out all of the super hero-naming websites to see what they come up with)

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  3. Why thank you! Let us know if you get a cool superhero name!